Who knew that being tied up could be so freeing
Updated: Aug 9
I had forgotten this part of me for a few months. Left dormant, numb. I had gone through a lot in just these short period of times, that now looking back, felt like an eternity.
Having my boundaries tested; listening to my body, my intuition rather than giving others the benefit of the doubt, always. And by others, I do mean a few. But a few good, hard lessons that left me broken for some time.
I was searching for my connection, for my strength again. Knowing that it was and is always there, simply 'banished' for a time, is how it felt.
When Sergey reached out to see if I would be willing to do this photoshoot, I was all in. No hesitations. It was my break, my escape, my retrieval that I was needing.
I didn't tell anyone that I would be doing this shoot. It was purely and simply for me.
Completely ready to be submissive to myself and this experience, knowing that that is where my strength would come through.
— I'm welcomed to the studio set with care and ease.
I head down to the dressing room, and continue to feel the warmth and welcomeness that I am receiving.
Sergey mets me, and we begin to plan the shoot. He asks, "what is your intention for this photoshoot?" I reply, "to express this part of me that I've felt I haven't been able to for some time. To feel myself, to step into who I am and becoming more of."
He goes through consent and safety with me. - Which having some background knowledge in BDSM, and my own learnings and tools, this was greatly appreciated. And made me feel already more safe and in trust.
I stepped out of the dressing room, nude. With nipple clamps, ready to do the first set. I continue to feel safe and at ease. Even while I was having a hard time putting the clamps on, fidgeting, Sergey never made me feel uneasy. (lol)
We then did about 3-4 different rope tie sets. And wow, I still feel my cells light up when I think about it. The beauty of the rope ties, the marks they leave behind when finished, the sensation of being tied up (with full consent and safety), and the feeling of complete freedom in my body and self.
Sergey held a professional approach throughout the entire set. Consistently checking in with me.
When we finished the last set, I knew I was done when the only thing I could say was, "I'm hungry." — Though it was a photoshoot, the body may still experience what looks like or may be a state of shock, hypervigilance, hyperarousal, etc. Especially if one has had traumatic experiences.
Sergey asks what I'll be doing for after care. I, aware of this process respond, "go cozy up, be warm, get a good meal in, watch a movie. Drink lots of water."
We had done it. I felt like myself again. I was shown how much of myself I was still holding back. Trying to please those around me, yet only diminishing a part of me. The part that is ready for these next steps, the one that sets my soul free.
Many thanks and gratitude for these connections. — Thank you, Sergey, for allowing me to come through in your safety and for doing it for others.
With love and freedom,